Category Archives: Farcical Liturgy

Need a laugh?

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For those of us who need to remember to laugh amid the craziness of Holy Week. Enjoy!

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March 26, 2013 · 8:31 am

Call to Worship (or Laughter) | Easter (Year C)

I found this liturgy by Thom Shuman and I had to share! What a brilliant representation of the absurdity of the cross and the defiance of the empty tomb. It reminds me of the reason why I prefer to call Easter Sunday “‘Suck it, Rome!’ Sunday.” May we all continue to preach the joke that God has forever played on death!

One: This is the time to rejoice!
All: What better time than now!
One: This is the day to laugh:
What did the cabbage pastor
say to the people?
Pastor: Lettuce pray!
One: How many choir directors does
it take to change a light bulb?
Choir: No one knows, because no one
ever watches the director!
One: How many Presbyterians does it take
to change a light bulb?
All: Change? Presbyterians don’t believe
in change!
One: What’s the greatest joke ever?
All: The one God played on
death on Easter morning!

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Filed under Easter, Farcical Liturgy, Liturgical Practices, Liturgy

Liturgy for a Dirty Room

     I dedicate the following liturgy to a person who shall remain unnamed.  May this litany be a source of strength and hope in the dark days ahead.


Liturgy for a Dirty Room

The Lord be with you.
And also with you.
Let us pray…
Creating God,
by your hand and your spoken Word
you bring light to the darkness,
     silence to the cacophony,
     and order to the chaos.
Through the life, death, and resurrection of your son, Jesus Christ
     you have laughed in the face of death
     and made possible all things.
Merciful God,
we confess that too often our bedrooms do not reflect
the decent and orderly worship to which you call us Presbyterians.
     Where there should only be carpet,
          there are dirty socks.
     Where there should only be a bed,
          there are nine pillows that serve no earthly purpose.
     Where there should only be a kitchen counter,
          there is that one magazine that you have never read
               and, let’s face it, you never will read.

Lord, in your mercy,
Hear our prayer.
(here a sung version of Kyrie may be sung by the congregation and then the liturgist continues…)
Clean and organized God,
through the resurrection of your son, Jesus Christ,
     all things are possible.
Release this room for the power of Satan
and renew our appreciation for the orderly nature of your Kingdom.
Wipe away all piles of dirty laundry
     and lead us toward the day
     when clothes will return from their exile on the floor
     and live forever more in the promised land of the closet
          until the day that you have preordained them to be worn
               by us, your humble and neat servants.
God of hope,
through the power of your Holy Spirit,
empower these your servants hands
     to restore hope to socks long forgotten,
     to renew space where before was only clutter,
     and to return dust to the hell from whence it came.
God of cleanliness,
     Strengthen our swiffers,
     Vitalize our vacuums,
     Direct our detergent,
     and bless our bleach,
until the day when death, dying, and dirt will be no more.
               
All these things we pray in your holy and spotless name!  Amen.  

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