Liturgy for a Dirty Room

     I dedicate the following liturgy to a person who shall remain unnamed.  May this litany be a source of strength and hope in the dark days ahead.

Liturgy for a Dirty Room

The Lord be with you.
And also with you.
Let us pray…
Creating God,
by your hand and your spoken Word
you bring light to the darkness,
     silence to the cacophony,
     and order to the chaos.
Through the life, death, and resurrection of your son, Jesus Christ
     you have laughed in the face of death
     and made possible all things.
Merciful God,
we confess that too often our bedrooms do not reflect
the decent and orderly worship to which you call us Presbyterians.
     Where there should only be carpet,
          there are dirty socks.
     Where there should only be a bed,
          there are nine pillows that serve no earthly purpose.
     Where there should only be a kitchen counter,
          there is that one magazine that you have never read
               and, let’s face it, you never will read.

Lord, in your mercy,
Hear our prayer.
(here a sung version of Kyrie may be sung by the congregation and then the liturgist continues…)
Clean and organized God,
through the resurrection of your son, Jesus Christ,
     all things are possible.
Release this room for the power of Satan
and renew our appreciation for the orderly nature of your Kingdom.
Wipe away all piles of dirty laundry
     and lead us toward the day
     when clothes will return from their exile on the floor
     and live forever more in the promised land of the closet
          until the day that you have preordained them to be worn
               by us, your humble and neat servants.
God of hope,
through the power of your Holy Spirit,
empower these your servants hands
     to restore hope to socks long forgotten,
     to renew space where before was only clutter,
     and to return dust to the hell from whence it came.
God of cleanliness,
     Strengthen our swiffers,
     Vitalize our vacuums,
     Direct our detergent,
     and bless our bleach,
until the day when death, dying, and dirt will be no more.
All these things we pray in your holy and spotless name!  Amen.  

1 Comment

Filed under Farcical Liturgy

One response to “Liturgy for a Dirty Room

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s